As I journeyed through this week collecting my thoughts around this gospel passage through the filter of the color indigo several memories came to mind. Maybe you can relate.
As I slept under the clear night sky filled with millions of stars at Mesa Verde State Park I sensed the expansiveness of our universe. Far removed from city lights, the intensity of the deep indigo color was so mesmerizing we all decided to forgo our tents that night so as not to separate ourselves from the beauty and awe. Maybe you can relate? I can still remember the breath taking sensation of awe today many years later. And as memorable was the deep sense of aloneness I was experiencing feeling like an outcast amongst this group of high school students I was traveling with. Maybe you can relate?
I entered a Forgiveness walk on Good Friday. Within this memory and the hurt feelings it brought up the opportunity continues, I was reminded and stepped again into that space of "Father, forgive them for they knew not what they were doing. I forgive them. Father, forgive me for I was young and doing the best I could. I forgive me." With that, my eyes were opened to understand that just like our gospel story, Christ came to me on that trip in flesh and bone, through the form of one of our college student advisors, Lisa. She befriended me and walked with me. Showing me love and bringing me peace. I was no longer alone. I appreciated it then but didn't really understand it until now. Maybe you can relate?
This week I went from seeing and feeling indigo as a deep darkness, a suffering, grief, sadness, good Friday, mixed with the awe and beauty of new life in early spring blossoms and nighttime skies that guide wisemen. My mind was opened to a clearer understanding of the depths of God's peace, love and forgiveness. May you relate.
I live a blessed life, walking a path of ups & downs as I love, serve and grow. A life of both/and, of grief and darkness, joy and love. I am doing my best to lean in, even when unknown: uncomfortable and scary steps are what's required to get through the lessons along the way. Across the thresholds I am sensing my soul is being directed through. Training and practicing being a conduit for Christ's light, peace, and love in our world. It is my passion to guide others into connection with Christ, through nature and self awareness. To help them find comfort in the uncomfortable, follow their pull, listen to their inner knowing. As my friend, who I recently was able to reconnect with 30 years later and thank for the role she played that summer. Lisa, unaware of what I had been going through at the time, was a Christ light in my life. I hope to be that for those along my path. May you too, relate! That is what Christ asks of us. To love one another, shine His light in their darkness, be His flesh and bone. Even in our own walks of suffering and joy, ups & downs, lean in to the pull, follow the nudges, listen to the whispers and shine, whether you understand or are aware of their indigo feelings or not.
Wherever you find yourself along your journey at this moment. Whatever you may relate to in my memories or the story of the gospel, hear this … Christ shared a meal with them - showed them, even in their terrified, frightened moments, hiding behind locked doors, amidst doubt - God was with them - God is with us. Not just in spirit but in flesh and bone. Christ understands us in all our humanness. Knows us and LOVES us, just as we are: frightened, suffering, hiding from the unknown. God comforts us in our discomfort, holds us, forgives us, there, here, now and always. May you relate. Amen!