Beginning at the End

The last shall be first Matthew 20:16

Beginning at the end. It was time, a few days ago, for me to start a new journal. I use composition books as journals. Whenever I begin a new journal I start at the back. The last pages are the ones I write on first. At the top of one of the last pages I write “gratitude”. On the top of another I write "God box”. 

Throughout the two or three months, I'll be writing daily reflections in this journal I will turn to the back pages to write out my concerns and place them in the God box. I will turn to the back pages to make lists of all that for which I am grateful. The end is an important place for me to quickly reference and write it all out both the joys/celebrations/connections/gratitude list and the fears/concerns/grumblings- they are written on the back page entitled, "God box".

This coming Sunday we hear Jesus tell the parable of the workers in the vineyard in Matthew 20, there is gratitude and there is grumbling. That's part of what takes place in my journal. It's a place for me to put my grumbling- the times I am thinking life isn’t fair or it feels like too much. I also get to recount gifts and grace and sacred moments.

My journals contain it all and it’s a helpful place for me to write down things that shouldn’t be said to another person but need to be said by me. I trust that God is willing to hear from us about everything and anything that's on our hearts in our minds. And I think one of the gifts of scripture is that we can identify with all the different elements we hear in the voices of actual people and the ways their stories have been told as well as the voices of the characters in the parables Jesus told.

Parables often invite us into the story to identify a bigger message told in a way that uses the elements of our everyday and ordinary lives. In the parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard a stark reality of entitlement/taking for granted/selfishness is shown as well as graciousness and forgiveness of debts and freedom. 

Perhaps you can take this suggestion at the end of this post as a place to begin: Read through the parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard and maybe make your own list of grumblings/fears/concerns - things to place into a God box- into God’s tender loving care and a list of gratitudes/joys and maybe even some aha’s as you let this story speak to your heart. Let me know what you discover.